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(theme song)
Episode begins at Diaz Household. In Star's bedroom, King and Queen Butterfly talk to Star through her interdimensional mirror.)
King Butterfly Of course, very few are aware of the serious matter, so I'll be traveling afar to give an all-day lecture explaining the proper throne posture. Slouched shoulders are an epidemic among nobility these days. [fading out] Blah-blah-blah, posture. Blah-blah-blah, back problems. Blah, blah, blah...
The pink hearts on Star's cheeks turn into hourglasses.
Star Butterfly [whispering] So this is what it's like to be bored to death.
Queen Butterfly Star! Are those dimensional scissors?
Star Uh... [picks up scissors and pieces of paper] N-No, no, of course not! Just normal Earth scissors. See?
Star cuts the papers into a unicorn cutout and accidentally opens a small dimensional portal behind her. A monster's hand reaches through the portal and paws at Star.
Queen Butterfly Good. Because you're not to leave Earth.
Star [laughing nervously] I would never think of it! [kicks the monster's arm]
King Butterfly Glad to hear it. [watch beeps] I'm sorry. Your mother and I must cut you short. I have lecture things to do. [walks off-screen]
Queen Butterfly Oh, him and his lectures. [walks off-screen]
Star Okay, bye!
Star shoves the monster's arm back through the portal, and the portal closes.
Star Whew.
Marco enters.
Marco Star, we're about to celebrate my parents' anniversary. Come on.
Star Oh, no! I didn't get them anything!
Marco Don't worry about it. My gift can be from both of us.
Star But I wanna give them something just from me, 'cause your parents are actually cool.
Marco [staring blankly] "Cool"? [slowly closes the door] "Cool"...
Cut to living room. Mr. and Mrs. Diaz sit on the couch as Mrs. Diaz strokes Mr. Diaz's chest hair. Marco and Star stare at them.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz [giggling]
Marco Ahem!
Mr. Diaz Oh, hello, kids!
Marco [holding out a small gift box] Happy anniversary, you guys!
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz Ooh!
Mr. Diaz opens the box, and Mrs. Diaz takes out two red and light-green fanny packs.
Mrs. Diaz Wow, Marco! More... fanny packs!
Marco Okay, I know you guys are non-believers...
Marco lifts up his hoodie to reveal a blue fanny pack.
Marco ...But these are way cooler than last year's. [unzips fanny pack] They have everything you need, like a dilemma whistle, non-drowsy antihistamine, and a space blanket made for two!
Marco unfolds the space blanket. It depicts an astronaut bear in space.
Mr. Diaz Oh, yes, you know how much we love to travel and see the sights.
Mrs. Diaz Oh, Marco, you put so much thought into this. Gifts are such a great way to show how much you really care about someone. I didn't think it was possible to love you more than I do right now.
Camera slowly zooms in on Star, who looks more and more distressed.
Star MmmmmmmmmmMMMMM...! And I'm giving you a trip to Mewni!
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz We're going to Mewni!
Marco Uh, we can use our new fanny packs!
Mr. Diaz hugs Star and Mrs. Diaz and jumps up and down.
Mr. Diaz We go now, right?
Mrs. Diaz Right now?
Mr. Diaz I want to go right now!
Mrs. Diaz Can we go right now?!
Cut to Mewni. Star and the Diazes stand next to an open dimensional portal.
Star Welcome to Mewni!
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz take photographs.
Mrs. Diaz Is this where you grew up?
Star No-ho-ho. I live there.
Star points up. Camera pans up to a large castle.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz Ooh!
Star Oh. Higher.
Camera pans up further to a bigger castle in the clouds.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz Ooooh!!
Star [sing-songy] Higher!
Camera pans up even further to Butterfly Castle.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz Ooooooh!!!
Mrs. Diaz Let's go there.
Star Aw, you don't wanna see that lame, cheesy, touristy stuff. What you want is the real Mewni experience.
Camera pans left to right across the Mewni slums. A woman is seen caring for 14 children. There's a herd of 12 goat-pig hybrids. A man with a long nose stirs a pot of stew. A boy reaches for the stew, and the man grabs the boy and drops him in the stew. The boy giggles.
Mrs. Diaz Oh, hello, little boy.
Boy [eating a horned rat, hissed screaming, runs away]
Mrs. Diaz Oh. [laughing nervously] Yum-yum-yum.
Star Um... Oh, look, an open-air market.
Merchant 1 Get your hydra trail apples!
Merchant 2 Half off shrunken goblin heads!
Merchant 3 Want pickled giant's toe? Is good.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz approach a fourth merchant with purple hair. He appears to flash them.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz [gasps]
Merchant 4 I got what you need.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz take photos of the merchant. Cut to the merchant's front; he sells various wares including sundials, wind chimes, jewelry, and chicken.
Mrs. Diaz I'll take the wind chimes, please.
Star and the Diazes go down an alleyway.
Star [gasps]
Camera zooms out to show King Butterfly in the same alleyway buying a spear.
Star Dad! [runs off-screen]
King Butterfly Mmm?
Marco stands next to a goat-pig pen cleaning something off the bottom of his shoe. Star runs up and drags him into the middle of the pen.
Marco Whoa! Star, what the...?
Star My dad's here.
Marco Your dad?!
Star [briefly pokes her head up] Yes! I don't know what he's doing here, but if he sees me, I am dead!
Marco Breathe. Just tell my parents the fanny packs are from both of us, and we can go home.
Star But they're actually enjoying my gift. I don't wanna ruin this for them.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz take photos of the goat-pigs. Star and Marco pop up.
Star Uh, okay! Uh, next, I wanna show you, uh... Oh!
Star looks toward a scary-looking forest.
Star Mewni's natural beauty!
Camera zooms in on the forest's entrance. Dramatic musical sting.
Mr. Diaz Sounds thrilling!
Mrs. Diaz We love nature.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz approach the forest and take pictures. Marco sees a sign that reads "FOREST OF CERTAIN DEATH".
Marco "Forest of Certain Death"?!
Star Oh, don't read too much into the name. Hurry up!
Star and the Diazes enter the forest.
Star So it's really kind of important to keep moving. There's a bleeding willow tree.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz Ooh.
A centipede-like monster quickly slithers past Marco.
Marco Aah! Whoa!
Star Here's a carnivore blossom.
A swarm of baboon-faced bees fly over Marco, and he ducks to the ground.
Marco Are you guys seein' any of this?!
Mr. Diaz See it?
A giant's foot stomps past behind Star and the Diazes.
Mr. Diaz Can't take our eyes off it!
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz [chanting] Best anniversary ever, best anniversary ever! Best anniversary ever, best anniversary ever! [fading out]
Star and the Diazes step over something in the ground with teeth.
Star Wait! Come back!
Marco Oh, yeah. Nice try, "path".
Marco throws a few sticks of gum onto the "path", and the mouth snaps closed to chew on the gum.
Marco Hey, guys, did you see what I just did with that bubble gum?
Star and the Diazes are seen running toward the far end of the road.
Star [distant] Wait! Come back!
Marco Of course not.
Star and the Diazes pass by what appear to be roses.
Mrs. Diaz Oh, wow. These flowers are lovely.
Mr. Diaz [taking photos] Not as lovely as you, dear.
Star Wait for me!
As Marco passes by the roses, flower monsters burst out of the ground.
Flower monsters [growling]
Marco Uh... Uh...! [blows dilemma whistle]
The flower monsters sink back into the ground.
Marco [muffled] Hmm. It worked.
The Diazes run along some thick tree branches.
Mr. Diaz Come on, my dear. Let me capture your beauty-ness on this magnificent adventure.
Mrs. Diaz [giggles]
Star Wait! Come back! [trips] Okay! You can stop being so cool now!
The Diazes slowly approach a small porcupine-like creature.
Mr. Diaz Okay, now, hold still.
The Diazes take photos of the animals from up close.
Porcupine [screeching]
Star [sighs] They're still alive.
King Butterfly (o.s.) These tracks are fresh.
Star [gasps]
Star sees King Butterfly and two of his manservants, including Manfred. King Butterfly tastes something on the ground. Star hides behind a log.
Star Pegasus feathers! He's on to me!
Marco Nothin' makes you feel more like a man than goin' to the bathroom in the woods.
Star pulls Marco into hiding.
Marco Hurk!
Star We gotta go. It's not safe here. Look. My dad is right there.
King Butterfly [pointing right] This way!
Star Let's just get your parents and go home. Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, that concludes the tour. Hope you've enjoyed your...
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz are gone.
Star Mr. and Mrs. Diaz?
Marco Where did they go?
Star [gasps] Look! Footprints!
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz's footprints lead toward a skull-shaped cave. Scary musical sting. Bats flutter on-screen as Marco and Star sneak into the cave.
Marco Look! It's their stuff!
Marco and Star find Mr. and Mrs. Diaz's clothes and belongings. Marco picks up his mother's wind chimes.
Marco But where are they?
Marco and Star feel a breeze. Star shines her wand inside a hole, and it breathes on her. A hydra wakes up.
Star [gasps]
The hydra lifts up its head. Five more heads pop out.
Hydra [roars]
Star and Marco [screaming]
Marco Let's get outta here!
Star No! That thing ate your parents!
Muffled screams are heard in the hydra's stomach.
Hydra [snorts]
Star Look out!
Star pushes Marco out of the way. One of the hydra's heads eats Star. Inside the hydra's mouth, Star dodges its tongue.
Star Aah!
Marco Let her go!
Marco shoves his hands inside the hydra's nostrils and pulls Star out.
Star Super Rainbow Dolphin Slam!
Star blasts the hydra's heads with magic dolphin blasts.
Marco There!
Star blasts another head. The hydra chases after Star and Marco.
Marco A dead end?!
Star blasts the hydra with more dolphin blasts. Marco uppercuts one of its heads. The hydra breathes fire on them. Star and Marco run around the stream of fire breath, running on opposite sides of the hydra. Marco takes the space blanket out of his fanny pack.
Marco Quick! Under here!
Star and Marco duck under the space blanket, protecting them from the hydra's fire breath.
Star Wow! What else do you have in there?
Marco I pretty much used up everything when I was schoolin' the Forest of Certain Death. Well, everything except for this miniature miniature book of knots.
Marco takes out a book of knots that's an inch big.
Star [chuckles] So cute. ...Did you say knots?
Marco Yeah. Why?
Star and Marco jump out from under the space blanket.
Star Bet you can't catch me.
Marco Over here!
Star and Marco run in opposite directions. Four of the hydra's heads follow Star. Four more heads follow Marco.
Star Hey, you! Yeah, you! [dodging hydra's heads] You can't catch me!
The hydra's necks start to get entangled.
Marco Over here!
Marco dodges the hydra's heads, making their necks get more entangled.
Star Come and get me!
The hydra's necks gets so entangled, they tie into a knot. The hydra suffocates and falls over.
Star Whoo-hoo!
King Butterfly [trumpeting yell]
King Butterfly appears on a cliff holding a spear and wearing nothing but a loincloth. A bone sticks out of his beard. He jumps from the cliff ready to challenge the hydra, and he stops when he notices Star.
King Butterfly Star?!
Marco My parents are still inside that thing!
King Butterfly cuts an opening in the hydra's stomach, freeing several Mewni civilians.
Civilians [cheering] We're free!
Marco They're not here?! Quick, to the large intestine before they're fully digested!
Marco squishes through the hydra's innards, gagging. Star and King Butterfly look worried.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz [o.s., giggling]
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz are seen enjoying a hot spring.
Mr. Diaz There's nothing like a steamy bath after a long day of exploration.
Marco Mom! Dad!
Star You're alive!
Marco Aaaand you're only wearing the fanny packs.
Mr. Diaz Ah, King Butterfly! Care for a dip?
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz [amorous giggling]
King Butterfly [clears throat] As inviting as that sounds, I need a minute with my daughter.
King Butterfly drags Star off-screen by her arm.
Star Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
King Butterfly Star, you know you're not to leave Earth! What are you doing here?
Star Okay, okay! Uh, but the thing is, it's not exactly my fault! There—it was an anniversary! It all started with the fanny packs... Hey! Aren't you supposed to be giving some "boring lecture"?
King Butterfly Uh, yes! W-We got a little lost. The directions were, uh... [chuckles] It all started with fanny packs... [sighs] There is no lecture. [jumps onto a rock] Being king is exhausting. Every once in a while, I need to sneak away and fight monsters. It keeps me sane. And it's good for my throne posture.
Star So I get my monster fighting from you. Cool. ...Cool!
King Butterfly I suppose so.
Star and King [laughing]
Star Are you gonna tell Mom you saw me?
King Butterfly I didn't see you and you didn't see me. But just this once.
Star hugs King Butterfly.
Star and King Hugs!
King Butterfly Farewell.
King Butterfly leaves, followed by his manservants.
Marco It's cool that you guys bonded and you got to see that side of your dad.
Mr. Diaz whistles as he crosses the screen naked. Marco covers Star's eyes.
Marco I wish I hadn't seen that side of my dad. [chuckles]
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer up StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed

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