Episode begins at Butterfly Castle; a couple of the castle towers are billowing smoke. | |
Ludo | (o.s.) Get it out! All of it! That, too! That, too! |
Ludo is seen standing next to a stone bust of King Butterfly. | |
Ludo | This is my castle! I don't want to see a single Butterfly face! Move it! |
One of Ludo's rats removes the King Butterfly bust from its pillar. Another rats puts photos of Star Butterfly and her family in the trash. A third rat is seen eating pancakes. | |
Ludo | Hmm. Wait, wait, wait. What am I looking at here? |
The pancake is shaped like Star Butterfly's head. | |
Ludo | Argh! No Butterflys! Get that out of here! |
The pancake and plate are thrown out with the rest of the Butterfly family's belongings. | |
Ludo | Is that the last of it? |
Rat | [nods] |
Ludo | And with that, everything in my kingdom is in order. |
The village surrounding Butterfly Castle is shown to be covered in trash with several buildings on fire. | |
Corn merchant | Corncobs here! Get your corncobs! |
Rats | [squeaking] |
Corn merchant | No, no, not again! |
Ludo's rats stampede the merchant's stand and take all his corn. | |
Corn merchant | [sobbing] These rats have eaten me out of house and home! |
Ludo | Right, they will do that. Okay, a few kinks to work out, but overall, the citizens of Mewni love me. Hey, merch vendor, how are the King Ludo shirts selling? |
Merch vendor | Very, very, very not good. Not good at all, your Majesty. |
Ludo | But what about the masks? |
Merch vendor | Those especially. Here, I'll show you. [to little boy] Greetings, young man. Might I interest you in a King Ludo mask? |
Mewman boy | [shrieking] |
Mewman boy's mother | Run, baby, run! |
Ludo | Maybe it's the beard. |
Merch vendor | No, my lord, they just don't like you. |
Mewman wife | Oh, honey, look at all that great stuff. |
Mewman husband | Wow. We should load up. |
Ludo | Finally, someone with taste! |
Mewman husband | Oh, let me just... [picks up bust of King Butterfly] This would look great in our foyer. |
Mewman wife | How much for this handsome fella? |
Merch vendor | Oh, well... |
Ludo | It's not for sale! Come on! You know what? That's it. Levitato! [lifts Butterfly family things into the sky] There! All that terrible Butterfly stuff is gone! Now, how about a nice King Ludo coffee mug or a bobblehead? |
Mewman husband | We don't want your stuff. |
Mewman wife | Yeah, we don't like you. Nobody likes you, dude. |
Merch vendor | You see what I'm dealing with here? |
Ludo | I am your king! I command you to like me! |
Mewman husband | ...No. |
Ludo | [frustrated yell] |
Cut to castle dungeons, where King Butterfly and Marco Diaz are chained up and playing chess using rock and dead bugs. | |
River Butterfly | [straining, moves green bug with his toes] Checkmate. |
Marco Diaz | [sighs] I'm bad at everything. |
River | First rule of chess, Marco: you must always protect your king. |
Marco and River hear the door lock jangling, and River brushes the chessboard away with his foot. Ludo and two rat guards enter. | |
River | What do you want? |
Ludo | You're coming with me. |
River | No way. I'm not going anywhere with you. |
Ludo | That's too bad. It's urgent royal business. [unlocking River's shackles] I need you to command the people to like me. |
River | [laughs] Why would I do that? I don't even like you. Shuffling about and talking to that wand hand of yours. It's weird. |
Ludo | [growls] Fine! If you won't help me, then you can just rot in this cell! Say good-bye to your freedom! |
Ludo tries to put the key around his neck, but the chain doesn't fit over his large head. | |
Ludo | [straining] Come on, you stupid chain. |
River | [muffled laughter] |
Marco | [laughing] Oh, Ludo... |
Ludo | [straining] Butter. |
One of the rat guards hands a stick of butter to Ludo. He slathers the butter on his forehead and slips the key chain around his neck. | |
Ludo | Change of plan. I'm giving you twenty-four hours to figure out a way to make the people of Mewni like me, or I'll... I'll Levitato you into the sky forever! |
River | [sarcastic] Ooh, I'm so scared. |
Ludo | Twenty-four hours. |
Ludo and the rat guards leave. | |
Marco | Dude, Ludo's gone completely nuts. |
River | You're telling me. He left behind a perfectly good stick of butter! [reaches for the butter with his feet] Oh, I can... almost taste it. |
Marco | River, now is no time for... [realizing] butter. [gasps] |
Marco kicks off one of his sneakers and reaches for the butter with his foot. | |
River | Yes, yes! You're young and limber. Reach out for it, boy. |
Marco | [grabs butter with his foot] |
River | Excellent! Ha-ha! |
Marco | [tosses butter into his hand] Ha-ha! [slathers butter on his wrist] |
River | Careful. Save some for the gruel, boy. |
Marco pulls his left hand out of the shackles. | |
River | Nice work, Marco. |
Marco | [gives butter to River] Here. Butter yourself up, and I'll see if I can figure a way out of here. |
River | Try the AC vent. |
Marco | [looks at AC vent] The dungeon has air conditioning? |
River | It's a dungeon, not a torture chamber. |
Marco | [opens AC vent] Nice! How are those shackles coming? |
River | [with butter all over his lips] I don't think this is going to work. |
Marco | River! Did you eat the butter, River? |
River | ...I used to be king. |
Marco | Okay, okay. I'll go steal that key from Ludo, and then we'll both get out of here. |
River | You should just go. This isn't your fight. |
Marco | [climbs into AC vent and crawls away] |
River | Marco, listen to your king! |
Marco crawls through the vents and reaches the royal bedroom. | |
Marco | [whispering] Whoa. The royal bedroom. [sees someone sleeping under the bedsheets, gasps] Ludo! |
Marco slides down a string of handkerchiefs and sneaks up to the bed. He pulls the sheets away to see Mime Girl. | |
Marco | [screaming] |
Ruberiot | [covers Marco's mouth] Shhh! |
Marco | Ruberiot? |
Ruberiot | Quiet, dude. You're gonna get us caught. [eats chicken wing] |
Foolduke comes out of the royal bathroom. | |
Foolduke | Whoo! How'd I ever live without a solid gold toilet? |
Marco | What the heck is going on here? |
Ruberiot | Since Ludo took over, we've been hiding in the vents. And when he's not around, we eat his royal leftovers. |
Foolduke | And bathe in his royal bubble bath. |
Mime Girl | [mimes sleeping gesture, hops up and down on the bed] |
Ruberiot | And sleep in his royal bed. She was miming that we sleep in his royal bed. |
Ludo | (o.s.) These villagers are so ungrateful! |
Foolduke | And end scene! |
Marco, Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl return to the vents. On her way into the vents, Mime Girl eats the handkerchief chain. Ludo and his bald eagle and giant spider enter the royal bedroom. | |
Ludo | [wearing Ludo mask] I don't get it. How are these things not flying off the shelf? [removes mask] It can't be for my lack of devilishly good looks. [sighs] I've got that whole Levitato-ing King River to do. [blows out candlestick] Being a king is simply exhausting. [goes to sleep] |
Marco | Now's our chance. If we can get that key from Ludo, we can free the king and— |
Ruberiot | Whoa. I'm gonna have to stop you right there. You see, as artists, our job is to comment on the world around us, not "doing stuff". A heavy burden, yes, but that's what it means to be an artiste. |
Foolduke | Oh, please. You, an artist? You're nothing but a jingle scribbler. |
Ruberiot | And you're a buffoon. |
Foolduke | The buffoon is merely the facade for my pointed social commentary. That's what makes me a true artist. |
Ruberiot | Not as much of an artist as the mime. |
Foolduke | Obviously! We all know the mime is an artistic genius! |
Mime Girl | [happily taps her feet] |
Ruberiot and Foolduke | Genius. |
Marco | Guys, look. I'm not a soldier either, but there's a time when you have to get off the sidelines and get involved. And if the four of us work together, we can save the true king of Mewni. Now who's with me? [points his fingers at the others] |
Foolduke | Now, see, I-I wouldn't use that hand gesture. It's just been done to death. |
Ruberiot | And you never want to end a sentence with a pronoun. |
Marco | [opens air vent] You all make me sick. |
Marco sneaks out of the vents and knocks over a stack of Ludo masks. One of them rolls next to the bed. | |
Ludo | [in his sleep] No, I don't want to shave the corn... [snoring] |
Marco puts his hood up and crawls up to the bed. He reaches onto the bed and feels the dungeon key, but he accidentally picks up Ludo's entire body. | |
Ludo | [gasps] |
Marco | [gasps, tosses Ludo onto the bed] |
Ludo | What? Who's here? Who's in my royal bedroom?! |
Marco | Uh, uh... [puts on Ludo mask] A guy in a mask. |
Ludo | [looks unconvinced] |
Ruberiot | (o.s.) We're here to... |
Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl appear on the chandelier. | |
Ruberiot | ...entertain you, my lord! |
Marco | Wha...? |
Mime Girl | [winks at Marco] |
Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl drop down from the chandelier and assume a group pose. | |
Ludo | In the middle of the night? |
Marco | Oh, yeah, because, uh— |
Ruberiot | And we wrote this song about... [strums lute] ...you. |
Ludo | You wrote a song about me? |
Mime Girl | [claps her hands] |
A spotlight shines down on Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl. | |
Ruberiot | ♪ Ohhh, he... ♪ ♪ Came on bird and spider ♪ |
Foolduke | ♪ Uh, shone his grace upon us all ♪ |
Ludo | I did do that, didn't I? |
Ruberiot | ♪ And he brought the rats here to protect us ♪ |
Foolduke | ♪ And now we'll never fall ♪ |
Foolduke spins Marco around, and Mime Girl catches him. | |
Mime Girl | [in deep, raspy voice] Get the key. |
Marco spins next to Ludo on the royal bed. | |
Marco | [grins nervously at Ludo] |
Ruberiot | ♪ And we say ♪ ♪ Great King Ludo is great ♪ |
Ruberiot and Foolduke | ♪ He's so great, great, great, great, great, great, great ♪ |
Foolduke | ♪ And Mewni has never been better ♪ |
Ruberiot and Foolduke | ♪ Been better, been better, been better ♪ ♪ Oh, great King Ludo is great ♪ |
Ludo | [humming along] |
Marco puts an arm around Ludo to grab the key, but it keeps slipping from his grasp. | |
Ruberiot and Foolduke | ♪ He's so great, great, great, great, great, great, great ♪ |
Ludo | You guys are good. You guys are really good. What do you call your band? |
Ruberiot | "Three Artists And A Buffoon". |
Foolduke | Okay, that's it. [shoves Ruberiot] |
Ruberiot | [stops playing] Whoa! What? |
Foolduke | I'm the buffoon?! You're the buffoon! |
Ruberiot | You make fart jokes! I make art! |
Foolduke | You call that noise art?! Your rhymes are wack! |
Ruberiot | Yeah, well, yours are... hack! |
Foolduke | [sarcastic] Ohhhh, good one. [rips Ruberiot's shirt] |
Ruberiot | Hey, hey! [pulls on Foolduke's hat] |
Foolduke | Hey! |
Mime Girl | [miming everyone to calm down] |
Foolduke tackles Ruberiot to the floor and sits on him. | |
Ludo | Stop! You're all hacks! Except for the mime. [giggles] She's a genius. |
Mime Girl | [looks flattered] |
Ludo | Get them! |
Ruberiot and Foolduke run out of the bedroom. Mime Girl picks up Marco and runs out, too. Eagle and spider jump on Ludo as they chase. Marco closes the bedroom door, and eagle and spider slam into it. | |
Ludo | [groans] |
Cut to Marco and the others outside the room. | |
Marco | I can't believe this! I almost had the key! Can't you two get along for just one minute?! |
Ruberiot | But we like not getting along. |
Foolduke | Yeah. [holding the dungeon key] We're good at it. |
Marco | Wow! You guys really had me fooled. |
Ruberiot | [laughs] No, we... we really do hate each other. |
Cut to River still chained up in the dungeon. He scratches his armpit with his foot. Marco and the others pop in through a sewer entrance in the floor. | |
River | Ah! Marco! |
Marco | Hey, king, we're busting you out of here. [unlocks River's shackles] |
River | [reshackles himself] |
Marco | Uh, what are you doing? |
River | I won't abandon my people. |
Marco | What?! |
River | Sometimes, you've got to let the king go. |
Ludo | [humming off-screen] |
Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl exit into the sewers. Marco pretends to chain himself back up and drops the dungeon key. Ludo, eagle, and spider enter. | |
Ludo | Time's up. So, um... ready to... Wait. Wait. Where's my key? [picks up key on the floor] I must've dropped my key right in front of you, and you didn't even notice. What?! You could have been running free by now, prancing in the fields! Must make you feel pretty silly. [laughs] Spider! |
Spider | [props up Ludo] |
Ludo | So are you going to force everyone to like me, or is it Levitato time? |
River | You may have the crown, but you will never be king. |
Ludo | We'll see how you feel once you've been Levitato'd. |
Ludo, eagle, and spider drag River away and close the door. | |
Marco | No! River! [enters the sewers] Come on! |
Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl follow Marco through the sewers. Scene cuts to Ludo, River, eagle, and spider on a gallows surrounded by villagers. River has been placed in the stocks. | |
Ludo | Welcome to the reign of King Ludo! This is what happens to anyone who doesn't show respect and adoration for their king! |
The villagers look frightened as they watch. Marco and the others watch from a sewer grate. | |
Ludo | [to River] Do you have any last words? |
River | People of Mewni! I am not afraid! |
Ludo | Blah-blah-blah. Levitato. |
River | And neither should yoooooooouuuuuuu! [levitates high into the sky] |
Mewmans | [gasping and screaming] |
Foolduke | What are we gonna do now? |
Marco | Now... we fight. [smears mud on his cheeks] |
Foolduke | Uh, you know that's not mud, right? |
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King Ludo/Transcript
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