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(theme song)
Scene opens at Britta's Tacos
Marco [slurps drink] Huh. Authentic Mexican horchata isn't supposed to have dairy in it.
Star So what? It isn't illegal to make horchatas with milk.
Marco Are you sugaring your burrito?
Star Food is anarchy dude. Live by your own rules [takes a bite]
Marco Ugh.
Star [holds out burrito] Want some?
Marco Keep your sacrilege off my taco.
Star Mmm [takes another bite] Whoo! Do I feel alive! [bounces up and down vigorously] You sure you don't want a bite?
Marco Definitely sure.
Star Who's up for fireworks?
Marco I can't see how that'd be a good idea.
Star 'Cause I totally wanna make fireworks. Bright-Glow Pyro! Sparkling Spiral Noodle! Radical Rainbow Blast!! Rainbow glitter unicorn gnome hat, kitty bacon, Hawaiian nightmare.
Marco Star, might wanna tone it down a notch.
Star [laughs]
A firework blasts the giant Taco logo onto a police car, destroying it.
Marco [gasps]
Star Ooh!
Marco [grabs Star and runs, panting] What the heck was that⁈ I thought rainbows were made of light.
Star My rainbows are made of stuff, okay?
Marco Okay, okay, okay. You just smashed a police car. Oh man. This is fine, this is fine.
Star What's the big deal, Marco? I've done this a thousand times. I'll just have my dad give them some crowns. Call it even.
Marco Things don't work like that on Earth. Here, you'll go to prison.
Star You mean like Saint O's?
Marco It's worse than Saint O's. They give you one bar of soap, and you have to make it last a whole year. You gotta get up every day at 4:00 A.M. and make hash browns you're not allowed to eat. And they force you to wear orange jumpsuits every single day.
Star Orange⁈ [peeks around the corner]
Female Officer Ai. I don't know. You tell me.
Star They noticed the dent.
Marco I guess I could visit you in prison or whatever.
Star There's only one thing left for me to do. I'm gonna run away.
Marco Wait, wait, wait. No, that's not... running is worse.
Star You can't stop me, rule boy [takes off].
Marco Star, wait.
Star [turns around] I'll contact you when I find a place to lay low [runs].
Star turns a corner and runs into two police officers off duty.
Officer Look, if you can't read, you can't do a crossword.
Star turns around, runs to a fence labeled "No Trespassing," and jumps it, landing in some bushes.
Star Whoa!!
Her momentum causes her to tumble down to the side of a canal below.
Star Oh! No one'll find me here. Okay, first day in hiding. Where to start? Shelter [puts her hands together]
A castle appears out of a cloud of purple smoke
Star Okay, maybe something less conspicuous.
She dismantles the castle and starts gathering materials from the canal in to a shelter.
Star Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.
It fall apart on top of her immediately.
Sometime later, Star grabs a bush for shelter instead.
Star Heh. Good enough.
Scene jumps to that night, Star shivers despite having a small fire. She wakes up that morning because of a bird poking its beak at her; there's more than one.
Bird [squawks]
Star [screams]
Bird [squawks]
Brigid Well, what are you doing down here, sunshine?
Star Uh, nothin'. Just takin' a stroll [stomach growls]
Brigid Well, sounds like someone's hungry. I'm about to make some pancakes if you'd like to join.
Star I do like pancakes.
Brigid Well then, my house is right through hair.
Star Wait a second. Did you just say hair?
Brigid Of course not, my dear.
Bird [squawks]
Star [stares at Brigid] Okay. Mm, pancakes.
Scene jumps to inside Brigid's home.
Brigid Welcome to 80 square feet of my own personal paradise.
Star Oh, your home is so cozy. [looks at a tapestry on the wall] A radical tapestry.
Brigid Would you like one pancake or two?
Star Five please. [climbs up to Brigid's loft] Wow! Cool loft bed.
Brigid Pancakes are ready.
Star eagerly awaits her pancakes at the table
Brigid So you gonna tell me what you did?
Star What do you mean?
Brigid Oh, hon, come on. Folks don't come down to the river unless they broke some of the rules. Your secret's safe with me.
Star Well... okay. So, like, I was with Marco at Britta's Tacos, and we were eating, and he was all, like, "Star, you can't put sugar on your burrito." But what does he care, ya know? So then I ate the burrito and I wanted to see some fireworks. Again, he's like, "Star don't fireworks your burrito."
Brigid [stares at Star's hair/headband]
Star and it's all like, don't do this, don't do that. Hey. My eyes are down here.
Brigid Oh. I'm sorry, dear. Go on and finish your story.
Star So anyway, my rainbow smashed a cop car. Jumped a fence and fell asleep in some garbage by the river, and now I'm here. So... what did you do?
Brigid Oh, you know, I steal hair.
Star [grabs her bangs] Oh, why would you do that?
Brigid Oh, no, no, no, sweetie. It's not like that. I don't take hair from people. No, no, no. It's more of like a back-alley kind of thing. You know, dumpsters, behind hair salons, dog kennels, discarded hair.
Star [still holding her hair] So you do, like, witchy stuff with the hair, right? Is that what this is? You some kind of witch?
Brigid Oh, goodness no, dear. You can do lots of things with hair. I wove it into that tapestry you like so much. Stuff your bed with it. Heck, you can even make pancake batter from it.
Star [stares horridly]
Brigid [laughs] I'm just playin' with you. But seriously, my favorite thing to do with the hair is to weave it into nests for all my wounded forest friends [opens window to show Star]
Star Aww!
Brigid You can make anything from hair. Well, anything... but love. [holds up a 'Missing' poster of Star] Star, your family loves you. Let's call them and tell them you're okay.
Star Oh no no no. You don't have to do that. Just let me stay here with you. See, I can sleep anywhere. Look [goes under table, snores].
Brigid But this is no life for a little girl. Let me help you.
Star No thank you [runs]
Brigid Star! Wait. Come back. [picks up a tomato can] Hello. Operator.
Man Whoa, whoa, stop. Stop right there.
Star Aah.
Man I said stop [his dog barks]
Star [jumps into river]
Man Who's walkin' who here?
Star continues to swim deeper into the river. She forms a bubble around her with her magic.
Star [gasps, yawns, falls asleep]
Later, someone knocks on her bubble.
Star Whoa.
Sea Serpent Excuse me.
Star What is going on?
Sea Serpent I'm fishing, hamster pats. What does it look like? No go on. Hidin' out here; you're gonna blow my cover.
Star Whoa, you too? I too am hiding out, too.
Sea Serpent Why didn't you say so? You've come to the perfect place.
Sea Serpent [singing] ♪ And underwater hideout to hide your princess face. You can make a shelter [makes one]♫
Star That's the pinkest thing I've ever seen.
Sea Serpent ♪ Anything you want to [creates burritos] Sweet and savory together. ♫
Star Sugarritos!
Sea Serpent ♪ Nothing 'cause you got to. you want to run a race ♫
Star I love sea horses.
Sea Serpent ♪ But you want to take a nap too ♫
Star Actually, I just did.
Sea Serpent ♪ You never have to unless you really want to. Pilot submarines ♫
Star A sandwich!
Sea Serpent ♪ Anything you want to. Stay dirty, stay clean ♫
Star How do you take a bath underwater?
Sea Serpent ♪ I bet you really want to. You can learn le France, decorate a cake, trash the economy, turn someone to bones. You can make a scrapbook ♫
Star Wait. What was the thing before scrapbook?
Sea Serpent ♪ Anything you want to. ♫
Star Whatever. This is perfect; I can hide out here forever.
Sea Serpent ♪ Only if you want to ♫
Star Can he stop singing now?
Sea Serpent ♪ Anything you want... ♫ Oh, it's cool.
Star Now I just gotta let Marco know I'm okay.
Sea Serpent What's this missle-massle? You can't go doing that now.
Star But he'll be so worried.
Sea Serpent No, no, no, you're hiding out; you gotta lay low.
Star Lay low?
Sea Serpent Yeah. You're on the lam. You can do whatever you want down here so long as you never see your family and friends again.
Star Huh? Never ever?
Sea Serpent Not even a bit.
Star So I'd have to spend the rest of my life here with just you?
Sea Serpent [scoffs] Don't be ridiculous. I'm not real. I'm just your brain trying to convince you you haven't made a big mistake.
Star Oh no. So I wrote that song?
Sea Serpent Enjoy the inside of your mind [eats himself]
Star decides to surface. It's night.
Star bleh-bleh-bleh.
Male Officer See anything? What's over there?
Female Officer Are those footprints?
Star puts on her devil horns headband and crawls out to shore.
Star Okay, I surrender. [grabs officer] Just lock me up and put me in orange. Seeing Marco once a month is better than never again.
At the Police Station
Male Officer Marco. You mean him? [gestures to Marco]
Marco [wakes up] Star? You're okay! [hugs Star] We were so worried. How'd you find her?
Male Officer [holding an empty corn can] We have our ways. You know, you shouldn't run away like that. You really worried your friend here. Lucky for you, we were gonna smash that old squad car anyway.
Star What? You were?
Female Officer At the annual police car demolition derby.
Male Officer I was really looking forward to smashing it.
Star Phew! Well, if you won't be needing me... I'll just see myself out.
Female Officer Just a moment. You're not getting off that easy.
Star Uh [nervous laughter]
Scene changes to Star washing the Police's car fleet.
Marco You really can pull off jumpsuit orange.
Star I know, right? But enough of this manual labor. [grabs wand] It's magic time.
Marco Star, isn't that what got you into this mess in the first place?
Star No, Marco. That was the rainbow glitter unicorn gnome hat, kitty bacon, Hawaiian nightmare spell. [casting] Super geyser windstorm!
The street floods, causing the police cars to float all around the parking lot.
Star Ooh. Yeah, that was totally me. My bad. Nobody panic. I'll put it back.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffee

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